Laying Down Our Lives

Peter said to him [Jesus], " I why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times." (Jn 13: 37-38). What stinging words to reply to Peter's passionate enthusiasm! So often in moments of exuberance we make promises or verbally leap into vats of optimistic idealism in which we later find ourselves drowning. Reality often sinks us and can lead to frustration, discouragement and humble recognition of our limitations. We are forced to beg forgivness for not keeping our promises or reaching our goals, but are called by our all forgiving God to scrape up the scraps of our good intentions and move ahead with his help toward what is attainable. Our Lenten efforts have no doubt met with some measure of success, but most likely fell short of our original goals. We, in a sense, pledged to "lay down our lives for Jesus", but, perhaps not having gone to the extent of Peter's three-fold denial, can join him in his tears of disappintment and remorse. How this fall helped Peter become a leader after the resurrection...not perfect, as St. Paul tells us... but nevertheless, the Rock on which our Church is being built! Jesus will not reject us for our imperfections, but loves us into acceptance of them, and invites us to allow him to make up what is lacking in us. Could we ask for a better partner? "Laying down our lives" has this other level: that of laying down our pride and self-sufficiency and allowing more space for Jesus to fill.